Sunday, January 13, 2013

Book of Mormon Parenting



Before you read the following it comes with one disclosure.  This is a years worth of thoughts that I just added to as I found something I wanted to add.  Which means it isn't awesome writing.  With that I give you what I found in the Book of Mormon about parenting.  What did you find that I might add?
 
The reoccurring theme of the Book of Mormon is pride and the effects that it brings. There are clear cut consequences for disobedience and selfishness.  The Lord has clear cut rules (commandments) and we (his children) are required to obey.  If we do not obey we are destroyed.  Our children need to understand this; the choice is always theirs, but the consequence is not their choice.
Another lesson I learned is that our Father in Heaven chastens us because he loves us (Helaman 15:3).  This is stated in the scriptures.  I think of how this fact is true with parenting also.  He doesn’t allow us to do things wrong and get away with it.  This isn’t because he is an unkind father, but it is because he loves us enough to let us know when we need to correct out actions.  I love Jaron so much I don’t want him to continue in a path that will bring him eternal unhappiness.  Chastisement is sometimes needed to prevent a far reaching and devastating consequence.  But don’t forget like stated in D&C to express love after chastisement or they will esteem you their enemy.     
Our Heavenly Father is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  We too as parents must be consistent.  This means we must come to a common ground with our spouse on how to raise the children in our home.  They can’t have one answer from Mom and a different one from Dad.
Our Heavenly Father is consistent yes, but I know without a doubt he is in heaven patiently waiting to bless us.  You see it throughout the Book of Mormon.  How he blesses his children when they are righteous.  He love us!  I am convinced that love is in the first and second great commandments for a reason.  “LOVE the Lord thy God . . . , and the second is like unto it, LOVE thy neighbor as thyself.”  The Lord is no exception to this.  He obeys his own commandments.  Love is the key, obedience is what turns it.
In the allegory of the olive tree (Jacob 5) – We learn that we need to nurture with patience, diligence, and love as we parent. Patience: he returns several times, doing all he can to save his vineyard.  Diligence: the olive tree is no easy task to care for, just as parenting is not easy.  We aren’t growing weeds, it takes pruning, digging, and grafting.  Constant care is needed.  Love: The master of the vineyard weeps because of those that are lost. It is a testament to me that the Lord loves his children SOO much.  He would do anything for them.  But he can’t break the laws that all things are governed by.
In 3 Nephi 17 we have the account of the Savior ministering to the children.  He is loving and takes time to bless them one by one.  Also in Matthew 19 is another account of the Savior when he tired but still takes time for the children.  What does this teach us about our children and how we should love them?  Take time for them one on one to show them they are important, even when we are tired.

We also have many examples of good parents in the Book of Mormon.  Lehi, Benjamin, Alma the Elder, the mother’s of the 2000 warriors.
*Lehi leads his family in love and righteousness.  He gives council to his sons.  We receive council from our Heavenly Father as well, it is called revelation/inspiration.
*King Benjamin is an excellent example of leading by example.  He is what he asks of those he leads, as should we be as parents.  Our Heavenly Father sent us a perfect example, Christ.  He himself could not come down, but he sent us a prototype of himself.  Before King Benjamin addressed the people, he talked to his family.  He put family first. 
*Alma the Elder perhaps is the best example we see of dealing with wayward children.  We learn first that even though our children have righteous parents, it does not mean that their fruit will be.  When his son went wayward, he did not treat him poorly.  He did not say I no longer love you.  He mourned and PRAYED.  He prayed for his son to repent and return.  He stood strong in his faith and beliefs, but extended his love to his son.
*The 2000 stripling warriors “did not doubt their mothers knew it.”  Sis. Beck gave a wonderful talk about this very things and what mothers that know do.  Mothers that know live the gospel and live their testimony.  They live in a manner that there is no question in their children’s mind that they know the gospel is true.  What are our actions teaching? Because our actions speak louder than words, what are we really saying to our children?

 When I first has Jaron I often spent lots of time reading parenting books, or browsing the internet to find a solution to the problems that we had with him.  But as more kids came I realized that the internet doesn't hold all the answers.  There is only one person that does and I have the opportunity to openly go to him whenever needed for the answer.  He loves the little ones that he has sent me so so much and will be there for me and them if I ask him to be.  He will help me raise these precious little ones.  That knowledge has opened up the door to more knowledge than the internet could ever provide and I find such comfort in using it.  

Who knew that the only book we need on parenting is the Book of Mormon?