Prayer

My first memory of prayer happened when I was a small little girl. I loved playing Barbies and I loved a certain pair of Barbie shoes.  They were white with a little lace looking circle on the top. They were essential for weddings and weddings are vital in the Barbie world.  I looked all over for them but couldn’t locate my favorite pair of shoes.  I remembered learning of prayer and knew I could ask God if I needed help.  And who needed help more than me?  So, I knelt and asked Heavenly Father to help me find them. Sure enough, I remembered where they were and found the shoes quickly.  It was a miracle and I knew Heavenly Father loved me and cared about a little girl’s troubles. As I grew, I always remember this occasion.  As I matured and realized how small and insignificant Barbie shoes really were, I realized that surely, He would help me with more important things when I need them.

I have a wonderful mother that has shown me the true way to pray.  She is so sincere and deliberate in the way she prays.  Never repetitive, and always pensive about the words she says.  As she prays it’s almost like I can feel what a privilege she thinks it is to be able to speak to the creator of worlds without ends. I would often go to her room to seek her out and find her kneeling by her bed in prayer. What a wonderful example she has been of praying to me.

Through the years I would pour out my troubles to me Father in heaven because I believed he was just that, my Father. My earthly father is such a good man. If my earthly father loved me as much as he did and was willing to talk to me about anything that I needed, I knew that my Father in heaven must be even more loving.  I remember going to Him again in prayer after I graduated high school and my life seemed to be miss aligned with Gods will for me.  My choices had led me to a place that I knew I should be spiritually and possibly the wrong place physically.  I remember asking Him for help during this time.  One morning I woke up and knew instantly, almost as if a voice spoke it to me, where He wanted me to be. That place was SUU. I went. I met the man that He intended for me to marry and have the life I have today, which by the way, is a wonderful life. 

The next generation has come into my home and because I had that experience with a Barbie shoe, I have been able to teach them what prayer can do.  Jaron had lost a small stuffed animal that was important to him.  He was 8 years old at the time.  I suggested that he do as I did and pray to find his small stuffed animal.  He did and found it right away, just as I had found my Barbie shoe more than 20 years earlier.

The power of prayer is real.  When we open the door to our God, he will communicate with us. He hears all our prayers, even the ones about Barbie shoes.  What he says back to us might not be what we want to hear, but he always has our best interest in mind.  Sometimes I feel like I am a small child throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get my way. I just don’t see what God sees.  He knows what is best for me.  I am still learning to trust Him to guide me to where he wants me to be.  Through this historical time in the world with the COVID-19 pandemic, so much is uncertain and doesn’t seem to be as it should be.  But I have faith that God has a plan for all of us, we will all be stronger trees once this wind stops blowing if we let God be in control.

He Is the Gift

This letter was given to a few family members this year.

Marisa Wade’s Sealing to Tanner Baird

It was a beautiful sealing.  There are many things that were said I am sure that I am missing things; but this is what I remembered and brought home to share with Don.

We make 6 (7 for men) covenants with God.  Each is “a” new and everlasting covenant. All these combined are “the” new and everlasting covenant.

When we partake of the sacrament we renew ALL these covenants.

There are those that think once the final covenant of sealing is preformed that is all.  But the sealing is not valid until the Holy Ghost testifies to Christ/the Father that the covenant has been accepted in the minds and hearts of those who made it.

A successful relationship includes 3 people. They form a triangle: God at the head, husband, and wife as the two bottom corners.  Husband and wife will grow closer together as they grow closer to God.

We often think of the promises the wife makes to the husband.  But we often don’t often think of what the husband is counseled.  He is counseled to love his wife even as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25).

Man shall cleave unto his wife and NONE else; that includes work, and recreational activities (Genesis 2:24).

A recommend is required to enter the temple.  But the husband and wife decide what enters their home.  This includes what feelings we bring with us into the home.  If needed take a walk around the block so things that shouldn’t come into the home don’t.  What media we let into the home is also important.  As we create a home where the spirit can reside others will be drawn to the peace in our homes.

I didn’t add any of my own feelings into the above words.  These are what he said.  But there was such a strong spirit present during this counsel with the sealer.  Marriage is ordained of God and it is so wonderful that we have the power on earth to tie families together for eternity.

I Love to See the Temple

On the 29th we all drove in to Dallas to go to the temple. Kathleen and Eric, who are awesome people, watched the boys while Don and I went. It was really nice to be able to go and it was fun to go to such a small temple. It is not a live session which Don and I haven't been to for years, so that was fun too.

We then went and spent the afternoon with Kathleen, Eric, and Avree.

We then took the boys back to the temple on our way out of town. Jaron's response was priceless and I am very sad to say I didn't get it on camera. Right when he got out of the car I told him this was our new temple. He looked up and got so excited, "That is amazing!" and did the best he could to whistle. He kept on talking about it wide eyed and with the most excited voice.
Bryson loved the water and flowers! He also loves to sing the "I love to See the Temple" song.

Our family is so blessed to be sealed and it is nice to be able to let the world go and remember the true reason we are here.

Children of the Promise

The Children of the Promise by Dean Hughes was wonderful!! I found myself reading and reading I finished the series in just a few weeks. It covers the time span of just before World War II broke out through the end of the war and some post war. Great history and interesting to see what the church did during that time.

It also had many gospel concepts that were great to reflect on and learn more about. Two that have stuck with me since I finished. First that I have a great heritage. In the books the father was constantly saying that we are Snow's & Thomas', we can do this, kind of stuff. It made me appreciate and think about what my heritage is and what my ancestors fought for so I can be were I am and have what I do. Also that I can do it! and I really believe that I can.
Second there was something that was said to Alex, the son, that applies to post war trauma, but I still liked it. They talked about taking small steps at a time. Decided what the next thing is in life and when that is accomplish go from there. I always have the tendency to try and plan out my entire life on earth, and we all know that doesn't work! As we complete one season of our life, following the guidance of the Lord, opportunities and situations we never could have imagined are opened to us. It has helped me tons! So my next plan for action in life is to support Don through this year of school. He is applying for PT school and once we know about that we can make some more decisions but there is no point in stressing myself about all that could be one day . . .

Anyway, loved the books. Yes, all of them.

D&C 76:72

Yet again I came home this Sunday searching for the answer. I really feel right now I am learning to be humble and still maintain confidence in myself. That is something I have always had a hard time with. How can you be both at the same time. I am slowly learning how that can work, it is great! So I didn't know something about the gospel again.
D&C 76:72 "Behold, these are they who died without law;" - referring to who will inherit the terrestrial kingdom. This posed the question in Relief Society; How then does temple work, work? Isn't this saying those without ordinances done (so baptism, endowment, marriage sealing) go to the terrestrial kingdom and have no chance of making it to the celestial? I Mormon Doctrine under Terrestrial Kingdom it states: "To the terrestrial kingdom will go: 1. Accountable persons who die without law (and who, of course, do not accept the gospel in the spirit world under those particular circumstances which would make them heirs of the celestial kingdom). So that answered it for me. The footnotes for the scripture also helped. So really all the scripture was saying is that you have to have made the covenants necessary to enter the celestial kingdom. I was also thinking that Section 137 (about redemption for the dead) had not yet been revealed. I don't know if this makes sense, but I wanted to write it down for me.

I Don't Know Everything

So first I have been feeling a lot lately like I often come off to other as if I know everything. So to those of you who feel like I think I know everything, or think I act like I do I want you to know I know I don't. Today's Relief Society lesson can prove that and I am grateful for these humbling moments that remind me, I am still learning.
In Lesson 17 of the Joseph Smith Manuel I was concerned about something, but only because I didn't understand. It said "Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be." Okay so with that and next several paragraphs of the lesson left me feeling very uneasy. What I understood from what I heard and read was that we have no beginning or end. Then with that came the concern, but aren't I a spirit daughter of my Heavenly Father, who was actually born of him? If I have no beginning then how can he possibly have created me? Enter Mormon Doctrine by Bruce R. McConkie. "All men in pre-existence were the spirit children of God our Father, . . . the offspring born to him in that primeval sphere had bodies of spirit element." So that only prefaced what I read under "Spirit Element," "There is no such thing as immaterial matter," You know how we learn that in science class, matter can neither be created nor destroyed. I love science and this only added to that. "All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes; We cannot see it; . . . This spirit element has always existed; it is co-eternal with God. It is also called intelligence or the light of truth. . ." So the spirit element has always existed it was just organized by our Heavenly Father to make spirit children. Anyway let me know what you think.

My Take on Death

I just love our R.S. lessons. The teachers are so great and I am alone for that one hour, that in and of itself is priceless. The lesson was on death this week. I just have to write down what Julianne Kress said before I forget. She related death to leaving a child in nursery. It isn't a bad thing to leave them there, but when you leave them there they do not understand why/where you are going & they know you will come back, but still don't see why they can't come. They are afraid or sad because they don't understand. Death is the same way.
I must say that the greatest fear for me is not death, but what I would leave behind if I did leave. Would my boys (all three of them) be able to get along without me, would my two younger ones be raised right? I also fear the change that death could bring by taking someone I hold dear. Sometimes it is good to share insecurities and this is one of mine.
I also find it very interesting in the books I haven been reading that people of other religions also want to (or do) believe in life after death. We want to know we will see our loved ones again, in fact we want to believe they never really leave us. I think this is also true. When someone is no longer there in body, their spirit remains with us. Not all the time, but when it counts they are there.
I never met my mother's father, he passed when she was just 17, but I can tell you I know him. I have felt his comfort in years past. Sometimes his presence was so strong I could have sworn he was actually there. How do I know it was him? I just know.
Our wedding, Don's grandma Hughes was there although her body was not. But we both knew she was there sharing in that special moment.
Judy, my father's first wife passed on before I was born, but I know she remains with our family. We see her every now and again, and feel her presence. I hope T-man doesn't mind me sharing, that she was there at his wedding. We were all there one celestial family!
I do understand that I will see my loved ones again, in fact I know it, and that gives me great hope, joy, and faith in the Lords plan. So Grandpa Barlow, Grandpa Fredericks, Grandma Hughes, Grandma Cox, Grandpa Leedy, Judy, and our dear little Joshua, 'till we meet again, because I know we will.

Wisdom, Order, Love & Health

Our lesson today in Relief Society was great. Shannon did a wonderful job and I feel blessed to have her in my life. She has been my VTer for some time now and she is one of the best people I know. This ward has so many wonderful examples and it is great to be able to feed off of each others testimonies. Anyway, she talked about not running faster than our feet can carry us. Surprisingly this is something I am always thinking about. As many of you know my health is not that wonderful, but I have learned something over the years that has been extremely valuable, if I listen to my body and what it is saying I can often prevent illness. The VTing message this month is about the human body, while VTing we talked about how wonderful the body is, it can do so many things such as repair itself, reproduce, fight disease . . . But also our mind is amazing and has remarkable power to influence our body. I know this to be true. I can only be running around so long before my body says "STOP!" Realizing this has been invaluable to keeping up on my health and I am proud to say I do not take medication nearly as much as I used to.
These thoughts I have been having all week about my health and other things were just added upon today in R.S. when we talked about wisdom & order. We only have so much time to do things, so it is important that our priorities are in tact. My priorities are (and please hold me to them): 1) to seek for the kingdom of God, 2) myself, 3) Don, 4) my children, 5) other family members & friends; from here it gets tricky I haven't figured it out from here because I often don't have the time to go beyond here.
I wanted to comment on a few of these, I know 2 seems a little selfish right, once you think about it though not really. Shannon gave the analogy of a bank account. You only have so much money (time or energy) and you wouldn't keep spending the money once it is gone now would you? I have to consider that I can't give to others if I am so tired, worn down, or without the spirit. Also another thought on this. We all have the same amount of time, and it is our choice what we do with it. I do have time to read my scripture, pray, have FHE, family time, take care of myself; but is something else more important that it takes presidency to it?
I wanted also to say a bit about 3. I often find myself putting Don on the back burner of my life, when in fact he is the one person in this life that matters the most. The relationship I establish with him has the potential to last for eternity. We will make worlds together be exalted together. I have come to realize this more and more over the past months and feel such a deep devotion to him and our love. As I have been focusing on him our relationship has been so much better, we have had very few arguments and our love is growing. It is wonderful!
The last thought I have been having about priorities is this. That priorities are not like juggling balls all in the air at the same time, they are more like spinning plates. Sometimes one needs more spinning than other and it is constantly changing which one needs the spinning. Also that personal revelation is key. If I seek for the Lords direction and guidance he will give it to me. Prayer is so important to keeping that connecting with our Father that we so desperately need.

Since about January I have been thinking a lot about love. As I have been working on being a better person I have felt that love is the answer. If I open my heart and let it be filled with the love of Christ I can spread that to those around me. Really try it out, what is the answer to being a better wife? Love. What is the answer to being a better mother? Love. What is the answer to dealing with that one person you just can't stand? Love. What is the answer to dealing with that wayward family member? Love. And I rest my case that as pure love fills the heart you are able to serve those around you so much better and with greater effect.

So there is what my heart has been filled with for the past little while. I hope it has helped someone else too.

S.M.I.L.E.

During this time of year when everyone is graduating my mind has been lead to an experience I once had with my brother Brad. After many long years in school he was finally graduating from dental school. I was still living at home with my parents, as way my little brother Tyson. The four of us went out to Iowa to his graduation.
As we were driving to his graduation we were telling him what an accomplishment this was, how wonderful he was for sticking with it. I can still hear him say in a quiet voice "It isn't the greatest accomplishment I have ever made." We looked at him a little puzzled and he said, "I was married in the temple."
This simple statement has stuck with me through the years. Sometimes I get frustrated with my earthly accomplishment (or those of other, aka Don's); but that is just what they are, earthly accomplishments. Nothing on earth can replace that of eternal importance.
Brad has been one of my greatest examples. The change that he made while on his mission was a testimony to me of the power of the atonement and how if we let the Lord into our hearts he will change us.
This story is another example I always think of.
I also think of the times I have spent with his family. He is an example of putting your wife first, then your family. He teaches his children so well. I always look to him and think, it is possible. You can have a family, a career, and still raise a righteous generation. Older brothers are great! I also give a lot of credit to his amazing wife Kaylnne. I also realize that no one is perfect and their family still has its struggles, but that doesn't mean his example is any less real.
While reflecting on his example I think how he reminds me to S.M.I.L.E.

2 Nephi 9:39 " . . . to be spiritually minded is life eternal."