Kayla's Birth Story

Richelle Jolley CMP

April 21, 2014

Kayla’s Birth Story

In order to get the true feel of the birth I think it is important to know what lead up to it.

Why did I choose a home birth?  I will be completely honest; the main reason was the money.  It was all around much cheaper if I was able to deliver at home. But there were other reasons as well.  I have had uncomplicated deliveries and done the last two births naturally in the hospital.  So I had confidence that I could do it again. I also had complete faith that I or Richelle Jolley (the midwife) would know if there was anything wrong and would be able to get to the hospital in time if needed.  Richelle is prepared for emergencies and monitors the baby throughout the pregnancy and birth very closely.  I felt she took more time through the pregnancy and birth to make sure baby and mom were well than any other caregiver I have had.  I have never really felt safe in the hospital; it is often cold and uninviting.  When I first met with Richelle she said one of the main goals was for us to become friends, so that when I delivered it was like having a friend there to help me.  Although the staff has always been nice at the hospital they are strangers.  I don’t know them and they don’t know me, so they don’t know what I want, even if I had a birth plan written and discussed with my OB/midwife.  I wanted to feel comfortable in my environment.  I also HATE needles.  I have overcome the fear through the years and I can have people draw blood, but it takes a lot of courage.  The required IV in your hand is really annoying/painful to me.  The last reason, I want to labor how I want to.  I want to go where I want, stand when I want and not have to worry about cords falling off/down, go to the bathroom without asking permission, eat if I feel like it, and give birth in the position I choose. All of these things were achieved with a midwife who took time to listen to me and discuss my concerns and wishes.

The birth story is somewhat foggy in my mind.  I have talked it over with Don and briefly with Richelle Jolley (my midwife).  I was extremely tired from the night of labor, so the few hours leading up to deliver I can’t be remembered very well. But here goes what I remember.

My birth story begins two weeks before I actually delivered. This is when I really started having false labor often despite taking care of my body how I should. The week before delivery was a r-o-u-g-h week.  I was sick Sunday night. Don left Monday for an interview.  While he was in flight I got a call from the realtor that the Texas home had flooding. Don called after his flight to tell me he wasn’t feeling well at all.  Tuesday Don was still sick, but went to his interview.  I also got word that the contract on our home was canceled because of the flooding while he was in his interview.  Don got home safe and went in Wednesday to find out he had strep throat.  So he was confined to the bedroom for 24 hours after starting antibiotics. Friday he went back to work and found out he did not get the job. All week I had been working hard in the yard as a distraction for the things that were happening.  Saturday I must say was a nice day but still very emotional for me.  Sunday morning something in me snapped at 9am.  I just couldn’t keep going.  The stress on my body and mind was just too much.  I was now 39 weeks. I did my best to get going Monday morning.  I was not experiencing any abnormal uterine activity, but I am almost certain that I was dilated 4-5 centimeters.

11pm Monday night I was crying to Don that she just never was going to come out.  She was going to stay in there forever. I asked him why she wouldn’t come out.  He told me to try telling myself that she was going to come.  Tell myself that contractions weren’t false labor and that I was going to have her.  I thought I could try that and decided to be positive.  Contractions started coming 2.5-4 min apart and lasted 40-60 seconds, and they didn’t stop coming like that until she was born. Short but frequent contractions the whole time.

3am Tuesday morning I called Richelle.  I told her what had been happening and she was on her way. 

3:30am she arrived and I was dilated to a 5+ and 85% effaced.  I was also very discouraged that that is all I had to show for 4.5 hours of labor. My contractions were short and when I asked Richelle why she said I was probably just tired and my body couldn’t handle longer ones.  Normally at this point I would ask to have my water broken, but Richelle really wanted me to have confidence that my body could deliver without any intervention, so she left Don and I.  The three midwifes went downstairs to wait for things to progress. Don was there for me the whole time. Right there asking me what I needed.  It is such a blessing to have a companion that is so willing to help and be there for me.  

We think at 5:30am I wanted another update.  Things were hurting at this point.  I was 6 centimeters and completely effaced.  I asked why I wasn’t progressing faster, because it felt like it was taking forever.  She said maybe I just needed to sleep.  Sleep, yeah right! But I did try.  It was at this point that my mind kind of checked out.  I felt like I was this tiny spec on the bed and the room and everything around me was large and close to me.  As I lay on the bed I remember listening to “How Great Thou Art” by David Glenn Hatch.  This helped me through the contractions and eased my mind.  The pain has usually been just in my back, but this time it was all around my uterus and in my back.  I couldn’t get a hold of the pain.  It seemed to be taking over. I decided that I wanted to get in the bath.  I was able to find a rhythm for about 20 min. and rest from the pain a little. The water turned cold quick though and I wanted to get out.  When I stood out of the water the pain hit hard again.  Don was there to hold me through the pain. I could tell at this point things were getting closer.

About 6:30am Richelle, Nat, and Sofia (the three midwifes) came up for good.  I was near crowning and my body and mind were done.  The midwifes were wonderful at soothing me. Counter pressure on my back helped a lot with the pain in my back, which won half the battle.  I was very consumed by my efforts to try and work through the pain that I was unaware of who was present unless they spoke.  Don’s touch was also identifiable because he his hand is bigger number one, but it also brought more comfort and warmth.  Richelle was kind and companionate. Richelle told Don what I needed and he was right there to do it.  I do remember doubting that I had the strength to continue or push her out.  I had lots of little comments at this point about disappointment in myself and fear of the pain.  Richelle at one point put her hand on my back told me it was time to call on the angles of heaven, because they were there and would help me.  My mind paused and thought about that.  I also felt like I had labored for a long time and that she would never come.  Richelle tried to tell me that she was crowning and was coming.  Kayla came down the birth canal a little to the left and that was a more intense pain than previous births.  I was doing wonderful at breathing her down but the pain was getting too much so I gave a few yells and pushed her out.  I didn’t tell the midwifes I was going to start pushing though so Kayla came out a little fast and unexpectedly for them.  They did break her fall but since I was on all fours Kayla kind of just plopped out onto the bed like a baby giraffe at 7:21am. My water never did break on its own.  Kayla’s face came out in her bag of water.  I was holding her after birth and Don says, “Check and make sure it’s a girl.”  I kind of panicked at the thought that it might not be a girl and looked, it was a girl!  I was so overjoyed to have her here and have had a hard time letting her go ever since. In fact she is the only baby I have been able to hold and sleep at the same time.

            Another wonderful thing about the home birth is that the boys were there to welcome her.  Yes, the last hour of labor they were awake, downstairs watching TV.  This part was not planned, but we didn’t know who to call really and they seemed excited not worried about what was going on upstairs.  So after I was cleaned up from delivery the boys came up and were a part of welcoming Kayla.

            Right after the birth I told Don I was NEVER doing that again because it hurt too much.  This was our last child.  But even a week has softened my heart and I already am able to reflect on the event without having such harsh feelings about labor and delivery.  The pain was defiantly worse this time.  I attribute that to me being so tired.  I really had prepared a lot for this birth and was very disappointed that I was unable to control the pain.  But like I said right after she came out, “I did it.  I achieved the goal.  She was born healthy.”  That is all that really matters and those precious gifts from heaven a worth every second.