31+ Weeks Pregnant

This pregnancy I have physically felt wonderful.  But I think I might be among the 10% of women that get depression while pregnant.  Granted it is most likely situational.  It has taken all of my emotional strength to be able to live in a house that isn't mine and have no idea what is next in life for us.  I think the true breaking point came a few months ago when Don didn't fill out the paperwork correctly for the manager job at his station.  He really might have gotten it if he would have done it correctly. Since then it has been a daily fight to just get up and function.
I find strength in the usual places.  Reading my scriptures, prayer, talking with Don about it.  But he can only take so much and the sadness just lingers.
I know the Lord has a plan for us, I just really struggle with what it is.  The house in Texas hasn't sold still and Don has had to work extra hours to be able to take care of two houses.  I don't think the house is going to sell. So here we are stuck, trying to figure out how to make the next move in life. Trying to plan for a baby is nearly impossible without knowing what is next in life.  I want to get things ready for her to come, but why? We are just going to move in the few weeks after she is born.  The cleaning of this house is constant and never done.  Spring is coming and that means tons of yard work, for a 9 month pregnant lady.  Don is never here, so he really can't help much. 
We have accepted help with $$ and I just hate that. I realize we make scarifies because of the kids we have and the job that Don chose.  But he works so hard and so do I to do our best to be righteous. We follow the guidance of the spirit.  Isn't that what it is about?  Many have said why doesn't he get a better job.  Honestly with the economy i don't think school or switching jobs is smart.  Switching jobs just isn't it, I know it. I feel at times I have no support from anyone but Don and that is VERY hard.
All this means I am just not doing good.  Every morning I lay in bed fighting with myself to get up.  I finally do but all day long I hold down tears and they often explode in the form of frustration.  I have faith that I won't have more than I can handle, but I reached my breaking point a long time ago and it doesn't seem that relief is near in sight.  So what do I do? I am doing what I can with what I have and hope that the Lord will fill in where my imperfections come bleeding through.

Kid Sayings

So this last week we had a shooting in Santaquin.  The shooter was at large and later caught in Nephi.  When I told the boys Eldon responded, "The Nephites caught the bad guy?"  I told him no he was caught in the city of Nephi.  To which he went running away shouting, "Nephi caught the bad guys!"  A little confused but it made the sad day have a little humor.

While sitting at the table eating Landon was being extremely crazy.  I often ask the boys when they are really silly, "Where did you come from?" and the response is usually, "From heaven."  Answered with the attitude of that is a really dumb questions, we all know the answer.  But today it was answered by Jaron for Landon with, "From heaven. But probably the crazy side."  Really made me laugh.

January 2014

This month was the start of Jr. Jazz for Jaron.  He loves sports and loves learning the skills to play them.  He takes it very seriously and goes outside to practice his shot sometimes. 

We had SEP’s with the boys’ teachers and they are both doing really great.  Bryson is very creative and artistic, while Jaron is more into the social studies and math.  But they both are where they should be for all subjects.  I didn’t feel that they were doing enough writing.  Bryson is just starting to write sentences in class.  So we have started journal prompts at home.  Bryson really likes it and is quickly progressing in his writing skills.

I started doing “school” three days a week with all the kids that are here in the morning.  If I have a set aside time for learning then I am more likely to do it.  So we have snack at 10 then do learning.  This is mainly for Eldon and he is doing well.

The highlight of Bryson’s month was being the Ute’s honorary ball boy.  What an opportunity that was for him . . . and Don.  We went to Training Table before the game because Aunt Cathy always did that with Don.  The boys really loved it.  Bryson was so nervous to go down on the floor but he warmed up to the idea after a while and did a great job.  I would also like to report at the game Jaron met Swoop and is now saying he is a Ute fan not a BYU fan. 

A few months back when my brother Scott was here the boys asked him to take them ice fishing.  Scott said that he would when the weather was right.  We finally were able to find a day that Uncle Scott could take them ice fishing. Don had to work so the boys and I went fishing. Jaron was the first catch of the day.  After about an hour the kids lost interest in the fishing.  Eldon would come back after his breaks to help us watch the poles.  We would have lost a pole if Eldon hadn’t told us we had a bite. The boys loved playing on the ice and climbing the mountain just off shore.  They also enjoyed watching the fish “dance” on the ice. We got a lot of laughs from the dancing fish. None of the boys would ever touch the fish..  Scott cut up the fish and gave them to us, but I had my fist experience cutting the bones from the fish and skinning them, with no one here to help.  I finally called Tyson to come up and show me how to do it.  I think next time I will be better at it.

We also had fun being a part of Carlie getting her call and going to the Zoo one last time before passes expire.

The 27^th Eldon had an appointment with the urologist.  Eldon’s opening of his pee-pee is a little small and needed to be cut open a little. With Jaron we had to go to the hospital and put him to sleep to do the procedure.  But the physician’s assistant said that it was a simple procedure and they do it in office.  1 in 10 patients feel the procedure after numbing.  Eldon happened to be one of these.  It was so sad and I wasn’t really informed that he would be in that much pain before they started. They told me when they cut him and he screamed that the numbing stuff doesn’t always work.  Awesome!  So we have a very brave little boy in our house and caring for it is not lots of fun for Eldon either.

We are doing the repairs on the home this month and are still waiting to hear that they are completed. We have had some interested buyers but no contracts.

Don learned that it takes about 6 interviews before you get hired so we have started applying for jobs.  We will let you know if he gets an interview to any of them.

Baby girl is still growing strong.  I am tired but no other complaints.  My body is strong but I think this mornings run will be my last.  The weight of baby is getting to be too much on my ligaments.

December 2013

Our Family's Village

Hughes Family Party

Christmas Eve

Christmas Morning

Don reading the book from Grandma and Grandpa Gray to the boys.

Temple Square

December was a rush of fun, family, and memories.  We started the month with Bryn’s blessing.  That is Tyson’s new little girl.  That same week Karlee, my brother’s wife, went back to work and their three kids started coming Tuesday-Friday.  Getting that many kids in and out of the car several times a day is really time consuming.  The up side though is that there are playmates a lot of the day. Landon is also getting a taste of what is to come. I have been pleasantly surprised that he loves having a baby in the house.  Landon has to have his way all the time, so I was worried that he would be upset when the answer was no or you have to wait a minute. But it has been really good.  He loves to hold Bryn and get her whatever she needs.

The 7^th was my family Christmas party.  With my parents away their home is still the meeting place, so I put that party together here.  I ended up making 15 large gingerbread houses and 9 small ones.  It is something we have been doing every year since Jaron was born and we really enjoy the tradition.

That next week I got a really bad stomach bug, for the third time!  No one else in our house got it though thankfully.  Karlee took the kids one of the days I was sick so I could rest.  It was a blessing to have the help. It took me all week to fully recover, it was a really bad one this last time.

We sure loved getting together with family throughout the holiday season. The Christmas party at Gram’s was a good memory as was Zoolights even if it was really cold.  At the party Eldon made sure to eat the gingerbread man’s legs first so he couldn’t run away again.  And we were surprised that Landon doesn’t mind the cold as long as there are moving animal lights.

This Christmas season I wanted the boys to focus on giving.  So they made cookies for the neighbors.  Instead of purchasing gifts for each other the boys did acts of service for one another all month long.  I kept track and on Christmas Eve we read what they had done for each other.  The boys really liked hearing what they had done and what had been done for them.  We wanted the Savior to be an active part of the season and talked about why we have Christmas and how Jesus was a big gift from our Heavenly Father.  I really think they all felt something different this year, I know I did anyway.
Kind of a cute story I want to remember.  I was shopping with Jaron a week before Christmas and while walking down the aisle he said, "Mom, I just feel I am going to get a lump of coal."  He was quit forlorn when he said it.  I asked him why he felt that to which he replied, "I just keep making mistakes!"  I felt so bad for him because to a 7 year old Christmas gifts are a serious thing.  It was a great opportunity to let him know that everyone makes mistakes and their is always repentance. I assured him Santa would accept his best efforts.

On Christmas Eve I took the boys sledding. We started just on the front yard but then went down to the church to sled on a big hill.  Bryson ended up hitting his chin on the ice really hard.  I am glad that it was just a large scrape and nothing more, but still very painful. We watched The Polar Express and all rang our bell to double check we could still hear them.  We visited Great-Grandma Barlow at my uncle’s house to pass the time while we waited for Don to get home.  He got home about 6:45.  Once Daddy was home we read the Christmas story from the Bible and then headed out to look at Christmas lights.  The boys went right to bed when we got home; that is after they put out cookies and carrots! They were so excited for Santa to come.

Christmas was a GOOD day.  We just relaxed as a family and ate good food.  We did go to Tyson’s to play games that evening.  But for the most part it was very low key.

New Years we just chilled as a family.  We had the option to go be with family in St. George or up in Kaysville, but just decided to not over tax ourselves (aka me) and stay home.  Jaron and Landon made it to midnight.  Jaron was really proud of himself for doing so.  New Years day Landon was a beast from his late night.  Another event of the day came when the boys were sledding in the yard.  Jaron went down and hit right into the fence.  He hit the top of his head and lost a tooth.  We still aren’t sure how that happened exactly, but he was really upset it was lost in the snow . . . and there was blood. He has no other injuries from the incident. He left a note for the tooth fairy that said, “Tooth Fairy, I lost a tooth in the snow please go find it.” She still brought him some money even though she had to search for the lost tooth, we don’t think she ever found it ; )

Baby girl is doing well, growing and moving like she should.  Fatigue and my sciatic nerve are giving me grief right now, but nothing that isn’t manageable.  Still no definite name, we are leaning towards Kayla Kristine and I still like Anna, but Don isn’t set on that one so we will see.  She might not have a name until she is born.

This season was especially hard on Don.  He had been working so hard that some nights he came home, but really didn’t, he just laid there and kind of stared.  The last weekend of the month he didn’t volunteer to work and slept a lot, which seemed to help get him back to his normal self.  We are so blessed to have a man that is willing to work so hard to provide for us.

We are going to make the repairs this month on the Texas home and give it one last go before we possibly look for renters.  There is a company we would use to manage the property since we are not close by to do it ourselves.  Maybe we will move back into it, we just never know.  My parents release date is May 23^rd and so we are going to work hard to have the next adventure for our family sorted out by mid-May.  We really feel blessed with all we have and are optimistic that the upcoming year will be great.

-Pam and the Boys

November 2013

Happy Holiday’s!

The month started great with a visit to the zoo.  The boys had a good time, we still are laughing in our house about Landon peeping on Papa.  Landon felt bad a first but when I was changing him in the bathroom and talking to me about what happened he started laughing.  Sorry Papa.

That is Landon’s big news this month he is potty training.  He is doing better than he was at the first of the month. He also has started praying by himself and won’t let anyone help.  All the right words and parts are in there they are just mixed up a little.

We had a rough first week in our house with everyone but Bryson getting a bad stomach bug.  The worst part was that Jaron and Eldon were sick at the same time that I was so there was a lot of clean up because mom couldn’t be there for all the messes.  Bryson got a special treat that week because he was a BIG help.  With Dad either at work or sick himself Bryson took on meal making for those that were eating and getting things for those that were sick.  Bryson never did get sick but the rest of the family had it and most of us at the same time.

That same week we found out we are most likely having a baby girl. As Bryson puts it, “That sucks for Dad and Jaron.”  They didn’t want a girl.  But I think that overall everyone is happy with the news.

Jaron had a Thanksgiving program and did a great job.  That kid sure tries soo hard to do his best at everything. 

Eldon has been working hard this month on learning his letters.  It is coming slowly for him, but he still has a few years to get it.  He seems more interested in reading than anything so maybe we will give that a try.

Thanksgiving was great.  It was fun to be with my Dad’s family for Thanksgiving.  That is what I grew up with and it was nice to have that again.

Don did not get that manager job. There were existing managers that applied so he didn’t get interviewed or anything.  I keep getting the question, “What will you do in June, when your parents come home.”  Bottom line, we don’t know yet.  There are so many factors.  We will let everyone know as soon as we do. 

No bites on the house.  We will not be fixing anything until the spring possibly.  We are still pleased with our realtor, he is hopeful it will sale, but no one really knows if it will or not for sure. So we are just taking life one day at a time and are sure God has a plan for us.  We are just waiting to see what that is.

Love,

Pam and the boys (We will have to come up with another sign off in April)

New Years

1-3-2014

So in October I think it was our computer started on fire! It must have had too much dust in there and just started sparking and smoking then turned off.  I was sitting right there and it was a little scary really.  So I lost my journal and everything on the computer.  Not that I write anything super fabulous, but I don’t want that to happen again so I will be putting my journal on this blog from now on. Don’t be expecting anything great or too frequent.  With all that is going to happen in the next year I don’t expect to have a lot of time to write.  But I hope to capture some of my feelings.  I will write at least monthly for the Hughes Newsletter.  So those are written from that perspective, to the Hughes family.

Life is changing for us right now.  I have a lot of feelings of uncertainty about it, but I do know this that the Lord will guide us.  He always has.  The hard thing is waiting for his way to work out and accepting that what he has in store for us isn’t always what I want. In fact it very rarely is what I had in mind.  Life has stretched me a lot more than is comfortable.  I hope that this next year my heart and mind change to be something greater than they are now.  As I think about what I want to have as New Years Resolutions I really don’t come up with much.  I feel like last years went well.  I didn’t accomplish them all, but that is because circumstance changed and they evolved to something different.  That is the only thing with New Year Resolutions that I don’t like.  I didn’t expect to get pregnant or my source of running to break so I stopped running and didn’t achieve that goal.  BUT I did continue to exercise and focus on my health, so I don’t consider that a failure.  This year I would like to:

1-      Become more meek.  Meaning don’t yell as much, be more loving and kind.  This is a challenge for me when I am expecting because I am such a bear I think. But I really want to be better this year at using a kind tone with the kids and not getting irritated with others so easily.

2-      I would like to complete highlighting my new scriptures.  Along with this organize the scriptures that mean the most to me so that I can access them more easily.  I would like to find a system that I can turn to popular scripture stories and read them to the boys.

3-      Eat healthy.

4-      I always do one as a family and I want to focus on service more.

That is really I got so far and I think that those are good maybe.

Bryson is 6!

 Just realized concession is spelled wrong, HA!

Bryson Scott Hughes turned six on October 2^nd.  Bryson adds so much to our family.

He is still extra caring and compassionate. 

Bryson is our family clown.  He feels the need to make everything a joke or funny.  We are working on when it is appropriate to be funny and when it is time to be serious. 

Bryson is just over four feet tall and weighs about 50 lbs. 

He really enjoys playing in the yard with his brothers and riding his scooter.  Just the other day he learned to ride a bike without training wheels.

The Wii is also a favorite past time.

School is going well and he really likes his teacher, he is learning to love learning and is beginning to catch on better to reading.

Bryson is not a very picky eater.  He really likes taco soup, but often picks things to eat he knows his brothers will like too.  He does not like jam or peanut butter.  He will eat them, but really would rather not.

Bryson is still into science.  He likes volcanoes the best, mostly because they explode.

Bryson is such a great little kid, and we love him so much!

His birthday was full of fun!  He had lunch with Dad and then we went to The Red Barn for our evening activity; hayrides, pumpkin patch, and ice cream included.

His party was a blast.  We did a drive in movie complete with a concession stand.  Jaron and Bryson ate a little too much candy and ended up not feeling too great, but that aside is was a big hit.

With all the birthday hoopla I think they come away feeling loved and appreciated and that is why we always make such a big deal about it.

Eldon Turns 4

Eldon turned 4 on Sep. 19^th.  Our family sure is blessed for having this little guy in it.  Eldon loves to give mom hugs and kisses.  He loves for mom to lay with him when he is falling asleep.  This doesn’t happen much, but it sure is a treat when it does. 

Eldon tries his best to keep up with his brother and I think as time passes he will be bigger in size than them.

This year in primary he has come out of his shell and decided that participating and giving people a smile really is fun.

Eldon likes all colors.

He loves pizza, hot dogs, spaghetti and breakfast foods. He also loves milk and dairy.

He loves to play outside and ride is scooter.

Playing with action figures is also a big past time of his.

He likes to watch movies and sports. He usually picks KungFu Panda.

His favorite songs are “We are a Happy Family,” “My Heavenly Father Loves Me,” and “Little Seeds.”

Eldon is a really good dancer.  He likes to shake his bootie whenever acceptable.

He is an awesome big brother and loves to help Landon do his chores.  He often also tries to pawn his chores off on Landon.  In his most sweet voice he tells Landon to come unload the dishwasher or get the garbage, such a sneaky kid.

He likes to learn, and is still working on identifying his letters and counting to 20.

Family Reunions!

The Hughes reunion on July 13^th was fun.  We enjoyed spending time getting to know our extended family members and catching up.

The Gray, Hughes, Eves reunion went really well and we all came home exhausted. I asked the boys what there favorite parts were.  Jaron liked watching Tarzan 2.  Bryson liked the plays the best.  His favorite part was when Stacie showed Papa the spider and he fell down.  He was laughing as he recounted the event.  He found the pink unicorn particularly humorous also. Eldon liked the sucker hunt the best.  I am grateful for the relationships that were formed between the kids and those there.  It was precious to see Landon run to Papa when he entered the room, to see him demand Gram to sit by him or to see him just walk up and grab Grandpa Gray’s hand.  Creating bonds that will last means so much to us.